And why they are important

Emotions are a gift from God. They separate us from all other creatures in the wide range of them with which we have been endowed. As image bearers, they also tell us something about God to which we should pay special attention. Our emotional capacity enables us to experience empathy, compassion, and love, reflecting the divine attributes of mercy and grace. At the same time, emotions can also lead us astray, causing us to act impulsively or harbor destructive feelings. It is through understanding and managing our emotions that we can align ourselves more closely with the intended purpose of our emotional nature.

Sorrow and tears reflect our Sovereign Lord, who shows sorrow when we rebel. This doesn’t mean God changes; He is immutable. His emotions are not changeable. God does not have good days and bad days; His “state of mind” is continuous. When we do wrong, He knows the sorrow it will bring to us. Isaiah foretold that the Messiah would be “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3) because he became sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21). The shortest verse in the Bible is “Jesus wept” (John 11:35) when Christ was at the tomb of Lazarus.

In the Hebrew Scriptures there are three stories that are always moving to me, and all three involve tears.

The first one is in Genesis and the story of Joseph (Genesis 37-50). He is sold into slavery by his brothers, declared dead to his father Jacob, falsely accused of sexual assault and thrown into prison. Yet in these things we are not told that Joseph felt sorry for himself or was moved to tears. Later, after God raises him up to become a leader in Egypt is when the tears are mentioned. The famine God foretold through Joseph comes to pass, and Joseph is overseeing the care for the Egyptian people. Because of the foresight of the prophecy, Egypt was well prepared and the surrounding nations go to Egypt for food.

One day into court come the very brothers who betrayed Joseph. They do not recognize him, but he knows right away who they are. Throughout the narrative of Joseph and his brothers, there are five times we are told that Joseph wept (Genesis 42:24; 43:30; 45:2; 45:14-15; 46:29). Each time builds on the other until after many tears (and many months), Joseph reveals himself to his brothers and they go to bring to Joseph his father Jacob. These acts of forgiveness and reunion are cause for tears. The years of suffering and loss melt away. When Joseph forgives his brothers, he kisses and weeps with his young brother Benjamin (Genesis 45:14-15). When Joseph sees his father Jacob arriving, he goes out and meets his chariot and “fell on his neck and wept on his neck a good while” (Genesis 46:29).

The whole story is moving to me. Each time I read these passages, I find lumps in my throat and my eyes watering. It is a fitting ending to a great book. Genesis starts with creation and the fall of man, and ends with forgiveness and tears of reunion. It is the story of humanity, a chosen people, and a family. In like manner, those of us who know Christ are fallen humans, chosen by God, and adopted into the family of God (Ephesians 1).

The second story is in the life of King David (1 Samuel 18-31). Before ascending to the throne, he becomes the son-in-law to the first king of Israel, King Saul. Saul’s heart turns on David in a fit of jealousy, and seeks to kill him. David and his men flee from Saul, yet David remains faithful to Saul. Even when the possibility of killing Saul is within David’s hand, David spares Saul’s life and pledges his allegiance. While Saul then forgives and welcomes David, it’s not long until Saul is once again seeking to kill David.

David’s best friend is Saul’s son, Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1-5). In David’s final flee from Saul, it was Jonathan who provided David with the word to flee (1 Samuel 20:18-42). At this time we read that Jonathan and David both weep (1 Samuel 20:41). By the end of 1 Samuel, Saul and his army are defeated by the Philistines. Along with Saul, his sons are all killed including Jonathan. The book ends with the inhabitants of Jabeshgilead taking the bodies of Saul and his sons from the Philistines, burning their remains where they buried their bones “under a tree at Jabesh” (1 Samuel 31:13).

2 Samuel opens with David hearing of the death of Saul, his sons, and of Jonathan. After confirming these deaths we are told that “Then David took hold of his clothes and tore them, and so also did all the men who were with him. 12 And they lamented and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and his son Jonathan and for the people of Yahweh and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword” (2 Samuel 1:11-12 LSB).

While the whole story is heartbreaking, the words that follow in the text as a song always moves me to tears:

“Your beauty, O Israel, is slain on your high places!
How have the mighty fallen!
Tell it not in Gath,
Proclaim it not in the streets of Ashkelon,
Lest the daughters of the Philistines be glad,
Lest the daughters of the uncircumcised exult.
O mountains of Gilboa,
Let not dew or rain be on you, nor fields of offerings;
For there the shield of the mighty was defiled,
The shield of Saul, not anointed with oil.
From the blood of the slain, from the fat of the mighty,
The bow of Jonathan did not turn back,
And the sword of Saul did not return empty.
Saul and Jonathan, beloved and pleasant in their life,
And in their death they were not separated;
They were swifter than eagles,
They were mightier than lions.
O daughters of Israel, weep over Saul,
Who clothed you luxuriously in scarlet,
Who put ornaments of gold on your clothing.
How have the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle!
Jonathan is slain on your high places.
I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan;
You have been very pleasant to me.
Your love to me was more wonderful
Than the love of women.
How have the mighty fallen,
And the weapons of war perished!”

– 2 Samuel 1:19-27

The pain and the sorrow of David are conveyed in these words. The mighty have fallen, and David’s heart is broken.

The third story that is so emotionally compelling also involves David, this time with his son Absalom. This saga is found in 2 Samuel 15-18. Absalom desires to become king and ousts his father. It begins with Absalom rising early and standing by the city gate speaking to those who came to David telling them, “. . . no man listens to you on the part of the king . . . Oh that one would appoint me judge in the land, then every man who has any case or judgment could come to me and I would justify him” (2 Samuel 15:2-4). By such words Absalom wins hearts and turns on his father David.

David has to flee Jerusalem because of the treachery of his son, and Absalom comes to power. However, as is so often the case when backbiting brings power, Absalom’s authority is short lived. When we get to 2 Samuel 18 there is a battle in the forest of Ephraim. David had given command to “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom” (2 Samuel 18:5), however Joab, David’s military commander, does not follow this command. Absalom flees through the woods, and his long hair gets tangled in branches of a great oak, leaving him hanging by the hairs of his head. Joab hear of this, finds him, and kills him (2 Samuel 18:9-18).

David wins the day, but has yet to hear of the death of his son, Absalom. When the runners come and bring the news the first thing David asks about is Absalom. The chilling words come to David, “Let the enemies of my lord the king, and all who rise up against you for evil, be as that young man!” (2 Samuel 18:32). Hearing the news his son had died, David “trembled”. He goes to the chamber over the gate weeping, and as he walks he repeats over and over these word:

“O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

– 2 Samuel 18:33

I confess, having lost a child myself, that each time I read or hear these words, I cry. Although my son did not betray me as Absalom did his father, the loss of a child is an unnatural death. A father loves his children no matter what they have done, and the death of a child is an unspeakable pain. It’s a pain that lingers, casting a shadow on every joyous moment. It’s the ache of absence at every family gathering, the empty chair that serves as a haunting reminder. The memories of a child lost are like fragile glass, both beautiful and painful to hold. Each milestone, each birthday, becomes a bittersweet celebration, marked by tears as much as smiles. The hopes and dreams once held for the child become a weight, a heavy burden of what could have been but now will never be. And yet, in the silence of grief, there remains a love that transcends even death, a love that keeps the spirit of the child alive in the heart of the grieving parent.

These three stories, each a poignant reflection of the human experience, resonate deeply with the universal themes of sorrow and pain, echoing the very essence of life itself. Just as life is fraught with moments of weeping and anguish, so are these stories. They serve as a stark reminder that the struggles we encounter are not foreign to the human condition. They are raw, authentic, and profoundly relatable, offering solace in the assurance that God will sustain and uphold hearts burdened with sorrow. Our Heavenly Father’s assurances do not shield us from the realities of pain and suffering in this earthly existence; instead, they promise His abiding comfort in times of affliction and the outpouring of His boundless love, as articulated in 2 Corinthians 1:4 and Romans 5:3-5. The parallel between life’s narrative and the Scriptures is striking, encompassing the tumultuous journey from despair and tears to eventual triumph and the tender reassurance of God wiping away every tear.

“Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

– Psalm 30:5b

And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain. The first things passed away.”

– Revelation 21:3-4