A Life Transformed

Psalm 73:28 – “But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”

The existence of God has never been a question for me. I have known Him, walked with Him, and experienced His presence in my life for nearly sixty years. But if I am honest, my deepest struggles have not been with doubt about Him, but with doubt about myself—my own worthiness, my failures, my inability to measure up to what I know He calls me to be. I have not doubted that He is real, but I have often wondered how He could love someone as weak as me.

I have failed Him more times than I can count. There have been moments when I have fallen into sin, when I have been slow to obey, when I have been discouraged to the point of despair. In those times, I have heard the whisper of the enemy: “You are not worthy. You will never be good enough.” And the terrible thing is, that whisper contains some truth—on my own, I am not worthy. None of us are. Paul himself confessed, “I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh” (Romans 7:18). And yet, it is precisely in that unworthiness that Christ meets us.

The great saints of the past knew this struggle well. Augustine, who had lived a life of debauchery before coming to Christ, lamented, “My soul was sick, and breaking down under the weight of my misery, I considered Your name, which I had heard so long, and I gasped for it as one gasps for breath.”¹ Martin Luther wrestled with overwhelming feelings of unworthiness, to the point where he despaired of salvation, until he realized that righteousness was not something he could ever earn but something given by God’s grace through faith.²

Brother Lawrence, the simple monk who practiced God’s presence daily, wrote of his own sense of unworthiness: “That when he had failed to love God, he simply confessed his fault, saying to Him, ‘I shall never do otherwise if You leave me to myself; it is You who must stop my falling, and mend what is amiss.’ After which he gave himself no further uneasiness about it.”³ There is a profound humility in this, and a reminder that our failures do not define us—God’s grace does.

Oswald Chambers spoke of this struggle when he wrote, “Never believe that the so-called ‘random’ events of life are anything less than God’s appointed order. Be ready to discover His divine designs anywhere and everywhere.”⁴ Even in failure. Even in doubt. Even in the moments when we feel we have lost our way. A.W. Tozer put it simply: “God knows us better than we know ourselves, and He still loves us.”⁵

I have seen this in my own life. In my moments of greatest failure, when I have felt unworthy even to speak His name, He has drawn me closer rather than turning me away. There is no failure so great that Christ’s mercy cannot restore. He did not choose me because I was strong—He chose me because I was weak. As Paul reminds us, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

A Testable Invitation: The Syllogism of Seeking God

Some claim that God’s existence cannot be tested, but Scripture says otherwise. God invites people to test Him—not in arrogance, but in sincerity. Jesus Himself said, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7). God promises that those who truly seek Him will find Him. This forms the basis of a simple, testable syllogism:

1. If God is real, and He desires a relationship with us, He would make Himself known to those who sincerely seek Him.
2. The Bible repeatedly states that those who seek God with sincerity will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13, Matthew 7:7, Acts 17:27).
3. Therefore, if one sincerely seeks God, they should experience His presence, guidance, or confirmation in a way that is personally meaningful.

What Does It Mean to Seek God “Sincerely”?

Sincerity in seeking God is not a superficial request or a test done out of skepticism alone. It is a genuine, humble desire to know the truth, even if it means changing one’s beliefs, lifestyle, or assumptions. A sincere seeker is:

• Open-hearted – Willing to accept the truth, whatever it may be.
• Persistent – Continues to seek even when immediate answers do not come.
• Willing to act – Ready to respond to God’s guidance if He reveals Himself.
• Seeking relationship, not just proof – Desiring to know who God is, not just whether He exists.

Christianity’s Unique Relationship with God

Many religious people claim a personal connection with the divine, but Christianity is fundamentally unique:

1. A God who pursues us personally, not one we must earn our way to.
2. A relationship based on grace, not merit or effort.
3. Historical grounding and testable claims, not just mystical experiences.
4. A universal and life-transforming relationship with the risen Christ.

Christianity is not about reaching for God—it is about God reaching for us. Jesus made bold claims that no other religious leader did. If He is truly risen, then a relationship with Him is unlike any other.

An Invitation for the Unworthy

If you struggle with feelings of unworthiness, you are not alone. But know this: Christ did not come for the worthy. He came for the broken, the lost, and the sinful. He came for me. He came for you. “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17). If you feel unworthy, take heart—it means you are exactly the kind of person Christ came to redeem.

And if you are willing, you can put this to the test. Not in arrogance, but in sincerity. Call on Him. Even if you feel nothing. Even if you have doubts. Even if you think He will not answer. Seek Him with an open heart, and He will reveal Himself to you.

Will you take that step?

Not because you are worthy, but because He is.

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Footnotes

¹ Augustine, Confessions, trans. Henry Chadwick (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1991), Book VIII, Chapter 12.
² Martin Luther, Preface to Romans, trans. J. Theodore Mueller (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1954).
³ Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God, trans. Donald Attwater (New York: Image Books, 1977), Fourth Conversation.
⁴ Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (Grand Rapids: Discovery House, 1935), entry for October 31.
⁵ A.W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1961), Chapter 7.
⁶ C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life (New York: HarperOne, 1955), Chapter 14.